The word 'should'

& why I've got rid

Someone said to me recently

“I know what I should be doing, I just don’t do it”

That word has been the cause of a lot of pain for me.
When I trick myself into trying to control the future.
Followed by thoughts of guilt, shame and frustration.

I’d be so fixed about how things ‘should’ be that when life went off script, I was left like a deer in headlights.

“How did I predict this so wrong?”

With an ADHD brain, and seemingly a million thoughts every second, analysing both the past and the future so granularly only adds to the chaos in my head.

It’s like there’s a situation for everything.

And rather that being present, I end up lost in some parallel reality.

The only thing that’s true is what’s in front of us.

The modern stoic in me is slowly shifting these thoughts to not be my default.
Where detachment from the outcome helps me to stay more grounded, present and focused.

Only looking at the outcome is where doubt creeps in. You can influence it although what you think will happen isn’t certain.

Even when you think that Man City are guaranteed to beat the League 1 team in the cup, they probably will although there’s still a chance they don’t.

You can only be certain once it’s happened.

Watch what happens when you remove ‘shoulds’ from your vocab.

Have you practiced detachment before?

Jack

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P.s In Thursday’s newsletter, I’ll be showing you how to overcome the thought of “I know what I should be doing, I just don’t do it”. To be the first to know about and have it delivered to your inbox